Time for What?- A Blog by Cassie

I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord Isaiah 66:9

It is very safe to say that smack dab in the hardest moments in my life I found strength through God. I remember always being the little girl in bed saying the same sweet little prayer over and over again each night. I grew up with some church early in my life and Sunday School, but it is best described as "no we did not go to church." I always believed in God, but there were times when I had questions. I don't even like to write those words now, but it is true. I had been in actual discussions where I really wasn't sure what I really thought. Looking back now I get that icky, embarrassed, eye rolling feeling when I think about that girl. I was in my bed on the night of the accident, late of course, because we had a lot of people rallying in support at our house. I was texting back and forth with a friend of mine who is really a piece of my family. She, amazing in every way, had lost her young, vibrant, beautiful sister just a little over a year and a half before that. I asked her "How do I find strength, I need your strength to get through this." She said "you find it in God, in the eyes of your children and in the love and arms of your family and friends." I thought it was absolutely poetic the way she said it, but I knew I still didn't really get it. A couple of days later this friend and a few other childhood friends came to spend a couple of days with me. I will literally never forget the events of one of those days for the rest of my life. We call it my "Finding God 101 day," and that is no joke. I won't go into the boring events of this day because I assure you, I would lose you all. I will say though, that the phrase "Trust is in his Timing," is the biggest understatement. My life was completely forever changed on September 16th, 2014 in the worst possible way. But, on September 20th, 2014 my life was completely forever changed again. Because I had 'truly truly' saw, felt, heard, and experienced God's presence in my life as I never had before. Does this mean it all became easier? Hell no! But my focus changed. It had to; I mean focusing on the events of the 16th was all I could do for days. I had a new focus though, it was the Word. Following the word.... became the key back into my own life. So where am I going with this...For months now I have been being slapped in the face with a message that I haven't gotten figured out yet. TIME. I will glance at a clock unconsciously at least two times a day (but usually more than that), and the time will always read something eleven. It's 9:11 most often, but 7:11, 2:11, 8:11, 6:11 etc., I see them all. I've even glanced at a clock in my house and saw it said 7:11 and immediately knew there was no way that was the real time. And it wasn't, I quickly glanced at the stove for a 2nd opinion and it was like 7:19 or something. What in the heck is happening? It is so frequent that there is no denying this is some sort of message I'm not deciphering. At first I thought that maybe it had something to do with me dialing 911 that day. Or maybe it was because I happened to glance at the clock just as I put the car in drive that day, and that time scares me now. I even went so far as suggesting when the Powerball was at its record breaking high a couple weeks ago that the ticket must be bought at 711. I am reaching here.... :) The truth is, I have no idea what it means if anything even specific. What it does do though, is remind me that I have a little blonde baby and a smiling Grandma rooting me on from above. I have a God who loves me and I remember to communicate with him a little more. I remember that even at the lowest of lowest, no matter what I may or may not think, I am "truly truly' not alone.