Peace & Happiness in the Garden- A Blog by Brynn

In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation garden of your life. James1:21

This past weekend I had most of the Raise for Rowyn team and their families over for a meeting and BBQ. Cassie and Aaron had bought Cody and I this weeping Cherry Blossom tree to plant in Rowyn’s memorial garden and we really wanted to share the special moment of planting it with them. Over the past 6 months it had still been sitting in the tub that it came in and still had the description tags on it. I have always loved those trees and I think it is the most perfect fit for Rowyn’s garden but we have been procrastinating planting it. I think up until this point Cassie and I were both not really ready to do this. It’s so hard to explain because it really should not be difficult to plant this beautiful tree together but it was. I finally felt like it was the right time and that we were both strong enough and ready to do this together.

The day was so fun. We were super productive accomplishing Raise for Rowyn tasks. We hung out in Rowyn’s room most of the afternoon sorting auction items, stuffing race bags, and fulfilling shirt orders. This is something I’m sure none of us on the team thought we would be doing together a year ago. Sitting in my deceased daughter’s room running a charity. I sure didn’t picture myself here. As hard as it may be to still accept that this is my reality I truly enjoyed myself that day. We laughed, we prayed, we bonded, talked about Rowyn, and even shed a tear. Later in the day our husbands and kids all joined us for a BBQ and the tree planting. The guys shot their bows and had a bon fire while we prepared dinner. The kids played in the bounce house and the sand box. I couldn’t help but smile watching all of our children play so well together. It makes me a little weepy even writing about it. I watch my son everyday wrestling his dogs and playing by himself and I can’t help but be saddened by the fact that he no longer has a sibling to play with. Watching him play with his now closest buddies and having the best time was wonderful. I imagined Rowyn chasing them around the yard the whole time. Dinner time came and I pulled out Rowyn’s little white iron table and chair set that her and Wyatt used to sit at outside. The kids sat around it and had their dinner.

After cleaning up dinner mess we knew it was time. Time for Cassie and I to face this silly challenge of planting the tree. Cassie had brought some other flowers and plants over to plant as well. We loaded our plants and shovels out there to get to work. It was actually very natural and easy. Jen had bought this beautiful Angel to include in the garden that we put on top of the bird bath. I for a few moments I felt like we were all there. Like for a brief moment I was truly so happy that I forgot Rowyn was missing. As Cassie and I were knelt down scooping dirt I whispered “you know Rowyn is here with us.” She agreed. She is so powerful we could feel her presence. Cassie and I ended the evening with a prayer in the garden. It truly was such a beautiful night and I love the bond and friendship that has become so strong amongst the group.

That night I got very little sleep. I could just not shut my thoughts down. My mind raced but at some point I must have been fallen asleep. I had this image flash of Rowyn standing in her garden. It was very brief. She was standing on the patio in front of the Cherry Blossom tree looking out at me. She looked a little older. Like what she would look like right now I believe if she were here. Her hair was a little longer, still wildly blonde and curly. She was wearing denim shorts and a pink shirt. So vivid! In that super quick flash of a dream I know it was Rowyn confirming that she was with us that evening. In that moment peace and happiness overcame me.