Thank Heaven for Little Girls- A Blog by Brynn

On this peaceful morning Im sitting having my coffee enjoying the quiet house while my husband and son are still sound asleep. This used to be my morning time with Rowyn, my little early bird and I still yearn for that time with her. This morning when I woke up I was consumed by thoughts of her. The sounds of her running from her room to mine giggling. The remembrance of her laughter filled my house. I can still picture her chubby little body in only her diaper dancing while we get ready. Days like these are so emotional for me but I cherish every single memory. These are the things that a mother who has lost her child never wants to forget. Part of me wonders if it is Rowyn bringing the vivid memories back to me? I’ve been asking her for a visitation dream for over a month and haven’t received one so maybe this is her way of sending me her love. Missing her has not faded or gotten any easier over the last eight months. I still think of her through out every single day no matter what I am doing. I actually try to picture what she would be doing if she was here with me. I still talk to Rowyn as if she’s here with us. I know that she is always with our family especially during get togethers or special moments, I just feel like her presence is there.

Earlier this week I had my immediate family over for a gender reveal dinner to share that special moment between all of us. I had been so nervous leading up to this day. What if it’s a boy? I’ve been yearning for the companionship of another daughter. I have shared before that my 3 year old son is already glued to his dad’s side. Im so lonely without my best little friend Rowyn and having another boy I knew would only be a few years before he was tagging along with dad. I have been praying for a baby girl thru my entire pregnancy. God is good. He heard and answered my prayers. We are having another little girl. Sharing the moment with my family was so special and emotional. There were lots of teary eyes in the room. I felt so blessed. I know that Rowyn was there with us all sharing the special time. That night I thanked her for helping God pick out the perfect little sister to add to our family. I feel in my heart that she was a part of it all.

I already wonder what this baby will be like, if she will have any traits of her sister Rowyn. Will she be another blondie, or a brunette like her dad. Will she be a handfull? I know whatever she will be like that she was perfectly chosen for what our family needs. I can’t wait to have those precious moments of caring for a baby back in my life. After prayers with my son every night we send our messages to sissy in heaven. We ask her to always look over Wyatt and her new baby sister. I know that she will. I feel confident that we have our own personal angel always watching over us. I will continue to make new traditions that keep Rowyn always in my children’s lives. Keeping her memory alive for Wyatt and hopefully creating a bond between her new sister. I feel so blessed in my life even thru my heartache. I know there is a bigger plan than mine that I just don’t understand right now. For now, all I can say is thank heaven for little girls.